This piece of artwork was created with watercolors and Micron ink pens.
Happy New Year everyone! You might have been wondering why I have been missing in action for most of 2020, I am writing this to fill you all in. This is a bit of a longer post so fair warning. 😉
Originally, I was very excited to get started on Christina Ann Studios at the beginning of 2020, but I was still very busy with school and work. The further into 2020 I got, the busier I seemed to become. I took classes in the Spring, Summer, and Fall semesters which finished up my bachelor’s degree! My school and my job became prioritized as most important, and I kind of unconsciously decided to wait to focus on Christina Ann Studios until 2021.
I did create artwork during this past year, I simply did not take the time to post it. To be completely honest, I am not much of a fan of social media, which probably played a big part in my lack of sharing. Personally, I think people should spend much less of their time scrolling on their phones, most of it is such a waste. There are positive qualities to social media, no doubt, and that is what I strive to be a part of. A clean, and welcoming place for people to be creative and find their worth in Jesus Christ.
Last year had many ups and downs for me and my family. Though this is a great deal more personal than I had planned to communicate in my art blogs, one major event that I would like to share with you all is that my mother went to go be with Jesus last month. She had been going through a rough couple of years with her health, not knowing what the issues were and constantly feeling gross, then good, then gross again. She went through a couple surgeries and was never really 100% afterwards.
A little background, my mom had always been really healthy and fit, doing her best to eat the right foods and exercise. She grew up a cross-country runner and avid hiker. She was always one for home remedies, and never ventured near the doctor’s office due to her fear of needles.
After a roller coaster of treatments and many failed attempts to find the problem, we finally received results in November of cancer masses in her liver. Her liver had grown much larger than it should’ve been, and we were told it was non-curative. My mom was, and is, so amazing. The moment she heard that it was cancer she felt so relieved. She was so at peace and simply rested in Jesus and His love. She no longer needed to try and fix herself and she knew that the Lord would either miraculously heal her or take her home. Both options filled her with peace and joy. We later learned from the doctor that it was not actually liver cancer, it was a more aggressive form of cancer and she did not have long. We were able to set up hospice care with the nicest people. I absolutely love the way the Lord was and still is so intricately involved in our lives. The two hospice employees we had the pleasure of meeting both served and loved the Lord. One of them was even connected to us through mutual friends and had a job helping my grandmother before she passed away. There were so many times the Lord blew me away by his compassion and care for us throughout the whole experience. He really does go before us, never leaving our side.
“The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” Deuteronomy 31:8
He is so faithful and good. Ever since I learned my mom had cancer, the word steadfast has been on my heart. No matter what, my longing is to remain steadfast, unwavering in my faith.
Though the storms may come
And the winds may blow, I’ll remain steadfast
Maverick City Music, Promises
That song has pretty much been my anthem lately. This whole ordeal with my mom passing away has been an experience beyond words. Though I sit here and do my best to let the Lord write through me, there is only so far that the English language can go. My mom has been my best friend all of my life. We did life together, talked about everything, laughed, fought, cried, dreamed, and fellowshipped in the Lord. The thought of saying goodbye was at times more painful than anything I had ever known. We all knew that the Lord was completely able to heal her, but we also knew that His purpose and plans were far greater than we could comprehend. The day she became unresponsive was agonizing. She was bedridden and rarely conscious. I cried off and on the whole day long. Everything was painful. Tears would run down my face without even thinking of anything. It physically hurt. My heart ached, breathing became painful, and I even struggled to walk. I honestly would not wish that pain on anyone. That night, as I went into my room, I fumbled into my bed and wept. It was that kind of cry that you can’t calm down and your breathing is uncontrollable. In my incoherent vocabulary, I cried out to Jesus. I simply told Him; the pain is unbearable. In that instant, I was completely stilled. My tears were wiped away and my pain was gone. He instantly calmed my breath and I laid there, wholly at peace. He led me to the scripture, Psalm 23.
The Lord is my shepherd;
I have all that I need.
He lets me rest in green meadows;
He leads me beside peaceful streams.
He renews my strength.
He guides me along right paths,
bringing honor to his name.
Even when I walk
through the darkest valley,
I will not be afraid,
for you are close beside me.
Your rod and your staff
protect and comfort me.
You prepare a feast for me
in the presence of my enemies.
You honor me by anointing my head with oil.
My cup overflows with blessings.
Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me
all the days of my life,
and I will live in the house of the Lord
forever.
Psalm 23
He truly showed me how good of a shepherd He is, how He leads me beside the peaceful waters and lets me rest in green meadows. I have always known and trusted to be still and know that He is the Lord (Psalm 46:10), but He made it so much more real than I ever believed. His strength is indeed made perfect in our weakness!
And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 2 Corinthians 12:9
Afterwards, I went on with the bedtime routine, being completely carried by the Lord. If you are not familiar with the Footprints in the Sand Poem, you should go read it, I’m not going to write out the whole thing, but it is what I am referencing. This was the hard time in my life that the Lord was carrying me through, and I asked Him to never put me down. I just want Him to continue carrying me all my life. As I remembered His promise to never leave or forsake me, He very much reassured me that He is the one who is truly Steadfast. The Lord is more faithful than anyone could ever believe. To this day He has held me, and I have not felt the bitter pain of grief since. Yes, I have cried, but it has been much different. It is hard to explain, but I know I will see her again and I have joy and hope in Jesus.
There is so much more I could share about my mom’s glorious passing, but I will finish with this. When she passed, there was no sign of pain at all on her face. My father and I were at either side of her, holding her hands. We were able to tell her we loved her and that we would see her again soon. Her breaths continually became smaller until she was gone, and she was in the peace and comfort of her own home. So full of mercy and grace. As we waited for the hospice nurse to come, we opened the door to it starting to snow. It was absolutely heavenly, though it might seem weird to say, I couldn’t have asked for it in a better way. His timing is perfect, even when we don’t understand it. I can truly say no matter what, it is well with my soul.
I hope and pray that people everywhere will turn their eyes to Jesus and let this dying world go. Look full into His wonderful face and let the world grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace. The reason I share this story is to magnify the name of the Lord, Jesus Christ, so that others may know Him as I do. I desperately want everyone to come to Jesus and spend eternity in heaven with Him! Eternity is what truly matters people, not this world, not your career, not fame, not money, not relationships, not even family. It is Him, and Him alone who is on the throne. And He who is on the throne loves you dearly and is praying for you right now. Accept His free gift, He is worth it all!
Therefore He is also able to save to the uttermost those who come to God through Him, since He always lives to make intercession for them. Hebrews 7:25
Thank you for reading! If you’d like to learn more about my mom’s life you can visit the website angislife.com that we are in the process of creating.
Jesus bless you abundantly!
Heads up! I am so excited for 2021! WOOHOO!! I have so much planned for this year and I can’t wait to get started! The goal is new videos & blogs every Friday (FRIDAY FUN DAY!) so keep a look out for that! There will be tutorials, lessons, speed paints, goofy art projects, and more! Love you creative fam! 🙂
Let’s Get Creative!
Want to Contact me? Click Here!
